Star Trek: Generations
Two Stars (out of five). Released by Paramount Home Video. Running time 118 minutes. Rated PG. Equipped with closed captions and English Subtitles. DVD has 'making of' documentaries, deleted scenes, and commentary. This was reviewed on DVD on January 15, 2011.

I'm not wearing any pants! Get it Gerodi? PANTS! HA! HA! HA! Oh, I kill myself.... Released during the holiday movie season of 1994, Star Trek: Generations was the feature film debut of the cast of characters from the immensely popular ST: The Next Generation TV series. Written by Ronald D. Moore and Brannon Braga, who also wrote the series’ marvelous final episode, All Good Things, Generations attempted to be an epic story that where Captain Kirk and Captain Picard finally meet--yet it winds up as being little more than a collection of scenes that are clumsily strung together. The film spends the first fifteen minutes in the Kirk era, where the legendary starship captain winds up getting killed while saving a newly launched Enterprise.

What if we got dressed for a revolution, but nobody cared? When the Next Generation portion of the film takes off, it’s 78 years later, and we find ourselves in yet another holodeck fantasy as Picard and his crew celebrate Mr. Worf’s promotion aboard an old sailing vessel. During this, Picard gets the bad news that his brother and nephew were killed in an accident, and he winds up blubbering about it for the better part of the film’s running time. When the main plot (remember that?) finally kicks in, Picard and company find themselves dealing with Soran (a seriously slumming Malcolm McDowell), a 300 year old alien who is obsessed with the Nexus--no, it’s not a car, but an energy ribbon that transports people to their own personal, wondrous heaven.

I've got to be me! Oh, I've got to be meeeee! Meanwhile, Data has installed an emotion chip into his brain, and now he’s blubbering like a mental patient whenever Picard isn’t. The main thing that bothered me with Generations is that if you’re going to have Kirk meet Picard, it should be all or nothing. In other words, have the captains, along with their respective crews and ships, all meet and work together side by side. Just having the two captains get together by themselves is a major cheat. Personally, I’d rather the first Next Generation film be about the Next Gen crew. Having Kirk involved in the limited manner that he is in Generations almost feels like an intrusion.

Uh, what was my line again? But the best word that can be used to sum up Generations is ‘tedious.’ It takes so damn long for the actual story to get started--and even when it does, you still have to sit through unneeded scenes of hysterical melancholy, which is the best that this film can do to create drama. I would have given this one star, if it weren’t for the fact that the film has some nice special effects eye candy that serve as a visual treat. The DVD also has a great commentary by the film's writers, who're wonderfully blunt about what doesn't work with the film. Their commentary is actually more fascinating than the film itself. --SF

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