Haven The Complete First Season
Two Stars (out of five)
2010. Not Rated. Widescreen. Running time: all 13 episodes of the first season. Released by Entertainment One. Equipped with English Subtitles. Extras include commentaries on selected episodes and behind the scenes documentaries. This was reviewed on DVD from August 9 to August 16, 2011.

No, see...you never keep the eye of newt beside the powdered ram horns. You want to be a neat witch, right? Since changing its name from the Sci-Fi Channel to the more goofy (and more easily trademarked) SyFy, the network that was once home to such soaring epics of the imagination as Stargate (and its sequel series), Farscape, and the superb revival of Battlestar Galactica has become home for cutesy-pie TV shows that are light on the science fiction and heavy on the whimsical charm, which the network suits hope would attract a much different audience than the old work horses of the genre. Warehouse 13 and the recently cancelled Eureka are staples of this new "SF-lite" flavor that SyFy is now aiming for; shows where the fantastical elements merely serve as window dressing for the romantic comedy, and where the main mystery is: will the sexy leads get together, or won’t they?

Hmmm, whose life can we screw up next? Haven is just another one of these air-headed, warmed-over soap operas approved by the new SyFy. It takes place in a coastal town called (what else?) Haven that’s so quaint and postcard perfect that you wonder what problems people would have living here. It turns out that Haven is basically freak central, with such a high quotient of people with special powers (a fire-starting boy; a man with a killer shadow; a woman who can control the weather, etc) that you wonder why Professor X isn’t busy recruiting here for the X-Men. Into this mix comes Audrey Parker (Emily Rose) a young FBI agent who’s initially sent here to track an escaped criminal.

Look, if you're not gonna play, then I might as well take my gun and go home! But Audrey remains behind in Haven well after her initial case is solved. Partnering with local cop Nathan Wuornos (who’s played so woodenly by Lucas Bryant that he should really avoid termites), Audrey becomes something of a mother figure to the poor mutant souls whom they encounter every week (in storylines that are so formulaic and stale, they could serve as a cure for insomniacs) as she tries to solve their problems without arresting them, even if they kill people. About midway in the first season, there’s finally some change in the "watch-mama-Audrey-make-it-all-better" style of problem solving--like when Audrey runs into a snotty teenage boy who maliciously enjoys his powers, and she makes him inadvertantly kill himself.

Whoops! Did I just shoot him? Oh well...win some, lose some. Jeez, wow...great way of handling a wayward youth, there, Audrey! The very odd message the writers are sending is pretty clear: Don’t mess with this mother hen, kids, or else she’ll pluck your eyes out! The fluffy soap opera element is served here by having Audrey torn between her partner, the amazing walking wooden man, and Duke Crocker (Eric Balfour, from Skyline), the clichéd "bad boy" who openly imports various illegal items into the country (and who, in this post-9/11 era of heightened paranoia and security, probably wouldn’t last very long before being caught). The series is very loosely based on a Stephen King novel, The Colorado Kid , from which it boosted a few ideas in return for having King’s name in the credits.

Audrey's really getting wrapped up in her work! The writers try to keep the audience's attention with a running mystery regarding Audrey’s past, which is somehow connected to the town, but they have their characters wind up acting stupidly in a lame attempt to keep this mystery alive. Haven has since been renewed for a second season on the new SyFy, and I wish the series, and its fans, all the best. Because, thanks to having flat, lifeless characters trying to service a stilted storyline, and the fact that the "wacky, home-spun" flavor that the writers/producers try desperately to create in this kooky little Maine town ultimately rings false, I found myself not really caring at all what happens to either Audrey or Haven. --SF

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