Since changing its name from the Sci-Fi Channel to the more goofy
(and more easily trademarked) SyFy, the network that was once home to such soaring
epics of the imagination as Stargate (and its sequel series), Farscape, and the
superb revival of Battlestar Galactica has become home for cutesy-pie TV shows
that are light on the science fiction and heavy on the whimsical charm, which
the network suits hope would attract a much different audience than the
old work horses of the genre. Warehouse 13 and the
recently cancelled Eureka are
staples of this new "SF-lite" flavor that SyFy is now aiming for; shows where
the fantastical elements merely serve as window dressing for the romantic comedy,
and where the main mystery is: will the sexy leads get together, or won’t they?
Haven is just another one of these air-headed, warmed-over soap operas approved
by the new SyFy. It takes place in a coastal town called (what else?) Haven that’s
so quaint and postcard perfect that you wonder what problems people would have
living here. It turns out that Haven is basically freak central, with such a
high quotient of people with special powers (a fire-starting boy; a man with a
killer shadow; a woman who can control the weather, etc) that you wonder why
Professor X isn’t busy recruiting here for the X-Men. Into this mix comes Audrey
Parker (Emily Rose) a young FBI agent who’s initially sent here to track an
escaped criminal.
But Audrey remains behind in Haven well after her initial case is solved.
Partnering with local cop Nathan Wuornos (who’s played so woodenly by Lucas
Bryant that he should really avoid termites), Audrey becomes something of a mother
figure to the poor mutant souls whom they encounter every week (in storylines
that are so formulaic and stale, they could serve as a cure for insomniacs) as
she tries to solve their problems without arresting them, even if they kill
people. About midway in the first season, there’s finally some change in the
"watch-mama-Audrey-make-it-all-better" style of problem solving--like when
Audrey runs into a snotty teenage boy who maliciously enjoys his powers, and she
makes him inadvertantly kill himself.
Jeez, wow...great way of handling a wayward youth, there, Audrey! The very odd
message the writers are sending is pretty clear: Don’t mess with this mother
hen, kids, or else she’ll pluck your eyes out! The fluffy soap opera element is served here by having
Audrey torn between her partner, the amazing walking wooden man, and Duke Crocker
(Eric Balfour, from Skyline), the clichéd "bad boy" who openly imports various
illegal items into the country (and who, in this post-9/11 era of heightened
paranoia and security, probably wouldn’t last very long before being caught). The series
is very loosely based on a Stephen King novel, The Colorado Kid
The writers try to keep the audience's attention with a running mystery regarding
Audrey’s past, which is somehow connected to the town, but they have their characters wind up acting stupidly in
a lame attempt to keep this mystery alive. Haven has since been renewed for a
second season on the new SyFy, and I wish the series, and its fans, all the best.
Because, thanks to having flat, lifeless
characters trying to service a stilted storyline, and the fact that the "wacky,
home-spun" flavor that the writers/producers try desperately to create in this
kooky little Maine town ultimately rings false, I found myself not really caring
at all what happens to either Audrey or Haven.
--SF
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