Jonah Hex was an offbeat comic book that I remember from my childhood about a badly scarred cowboy in the Old West who worked as a bounty hunter. Despite his ghastly appearance, and nasty reputation, Hex had a personal code of honor that made him either seek justice for, or avenge, the innocent. In this cinematic golden age of superheroes, where even comic book heroes as ridiculous as Thor get their own movies, it only makes sense that a western anti-hero like Jonah Hex would also appear on the silver screen. And while the film is remarkably faithful to the Hex back-story, using familiar Hex villain Quentin Turnbull as the central bad guy, it still manages to screw it up beyond belief.
For one thing, the filmmakers give Hex the strange ability to talk to the dead
by reviving a corpse just by touching it. While the comic book Hex dealt with
some supernatural stuff on occasion, he never had any supernatural powers himself.
But despite this God-like ability, Hex has no other supernatural powers in the
film. Nor does he face any supernatural threats, which would have been a nice twist.
Who better to pull off a horror movie/western hybrid than Jonah Hex, the
weirdest, meanest SOB in the Old West? But no; the only supernatural element on
display is Hex interrogating dead bodies like a cop working over surly informants,
while Turnbull seeks to build a super weapon that will destroy Washington D.C.
Turnbull’s super-advanced gun (for 1876) gives the movie a welcome Wild, Wild West vibe
(but the filmmakers never really explain what those glowing yellow balls are
supposed to be). Yet this more fanciful element is even tossed away in favor of pointless action
scenes and an equally pointless liaison with a hooker (Megan Fox) who’s madly in
love with Hex, although--like most everything in this movie--it’s never really
explained why.
Instead of giving us a distinctive adventure with a truly offbeat
hero, we wind up with this timid little movie that doesn’t really know what it
wants to be. Is it a supernatural western? Is it steam punk? The movie’s
extremely brief running time--just 82 minutes--might be a clue that it may
have been chopped down from a longer version. Or maybe it’s just simply a case
of clueless filmmakers not knowing what to do with a truly unique character.
At least Hex lives on in the comics.
--SF
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