Lady In The Water
Two Stars (out of five). Released by Warner Home Video. Running time 109 minutes. Rated PG-13. Equipped with closed captions and English Subtitles. DVD has a "making of" documentary, a look at a children's book based on the film, as well as deleted scenes and a gag reel. Available in widescreen and fullscreen editions. I reviewed the widescreen version.

It's true; in Blue World, we don't have pants. Paul Giamatti stars as Cleveland Heep, a sad sack maintenance man who works at The Cove, an apartment complex with a colorful assortment of residents. Speaking with a stutter, Heep is an instantly sympathetic sort of man who always tries to do the right thing. On an evening when the nation is on the brink of war, Heep is keeping watch over the complex’s swimming pool. Apparently, somebody has been sneaking into the pool after the 7 pm closing time and taking a swim. When Heep does catch somebody in the act of illicitly swimming, in his haste to catch them, he trips and falls into the water, which proves to be a near-fatal incident when he slips underwater in an unconscious state.

Man, what a party...what day is it? When he wakes up, Heep finds himself back in his caretaker’s cottage, with his rescuer sitting on the sofa across from him. It’s a young woman, who’s naked save for the fact that she’s wearing one of Heep’s shirts. Her name is Story, and she turns out to be a Narf, or a sea nymph, from the Blue World. She has come to our world to seek out the one person who will change our world for the good. Her mission is to give him a good, tingly feeling about himself. No, she’s not a high-priced call girl, but a sea nymph who has come to participate in the Great Awakening of Man--if she doesn't get killed and eaten by the scrunt that's stalking her. Mmmm, ok....

Lady, wait! This isn't what it looks like, I swear! I wanted to like this one, I really did. Paul Giamatti turns in his usual terrific performance, and Bryce Dallas Howard, who was so good in The Village, is appropriately otherworldly as Story, yet she doesn’t really do anything here but sit around and look concerned. The film’s plot was reportedly a bedtime story that writer/director M. Night Shyamalan told his children. Yet perhaps some stories are so personal that they should remain private, shared only between loved ones. Maybe some stories are simply better told to children in the quietness of a bedroom at night; rather than be translated to the big screen, where--despite the efforts of a marvelous cast and crew--it comes across as nothing more than the confused babble of a tale that feels like it was made up in a heated rush as it goes along.

Look, you're a nice kid and all, but my heart belongs to Virgina Madsen. And what’s with this trend of film directors who think they can act? M. Night Shyamalan is a talented writer/director, and he can be forgiven for this major misfire, but what prompted him to cast himself in the role of the guy whose book changes the world? It’s one thing when directors like Hitchcock give themselves little cameos in their films, but to play a major supporting part in a cast that consists of such acting talent as Paul Giamatti, Jeffrey Wright, Bob Babalan and Mary Beth Hurt? Next to these acting heavyweights, Shyamalan looks woefully inexperienced. Better if he’d stick to working his cinematic magic behind the camera and let real thespians handle the acting chores. --SF

Main Review Page | Fantasy Reviews |Email Me | Buy This DVD Right Here!