Mutant Chronicles takes place in a quasi-futuristic earth
where four major corporations dominate the world, and battle it out in a savage
world war over the planet's dwindling resources. It's a blend of World War One
meets Steam Punk tech as soldiers still fight trench warfare with gas masks,
while armed with advanced rifles and steam-powered airships that can hover.
Thomas Jane stars as Sgt. Hunter, the typical world-weary soldier who has seen
it all--until today, when the enemy launches a massive attack on their front lines.
Hunter and his men are just holding them off when a new enemy abruptly attacks
everybody on both sides. They are zombie-like creatures whose right hands are
replaced with a sharp, impaling blade that looks like it might be handy for eating
shellfish.
Main Review Page | Fantasy Reviews |Mutant Chronicles 2-Disc Collector's Edition
Apparently, there's a mutant-making machine that's buried deep under the
battlefield, and, once again exposed to the surface world--thanks to an artillery
shell bombardment--it begins churning out new mutant warriors to take over
humanity. Whoever they don't kill outright are dragged underground so that the
machine can convert them into murderous mutants. It's enough to really mess up
somebody's day, you know? The Machine was defeated once before, many years ago, and buried
under a seal in the ground. The always good Ron Pearlman co-stars as a priest
who has the ancient knowledge on how to destroy the Machine written within a
sacred book by the these ancient warriors. It's called "Mutant Killing
for Dummies." Um, well, no...actually, the book is called The Mutant
Chronicles. It didn't make Oprah's book club. 
Eventually, the four corporations join forces to send a small commando unit
down into the earth to destroy the Machine. But, if the ancient warriors knew
exactly how to stop the Machine, then why didn't they do it in the first place?
And the mutants aren't exactly indestructible--they can be put down by regular
weapons, even swords; so it's hard to see how they can so easily take over the
mechanized world, complete with airships and even colonies on other planets.
And why don't the world leaders, led by a morose John Malkovich, simply organize
an assault on the Machine the likes of which haven't been seen since D-Day? Ah,
because then we would lose the video game flavor of having a small band of
warriors--including the hot warrior babes--constantly battling it out with the
restless mutants. 
If that idea worked for the Lord Of The Rings, then it should work here, right?
Well, not quite. Shot on green screen--like 300 was--instead of an epic feel,
Mutant Chronicles feels like a cheap video game, with the same cardboard
characters who are all so darn tough, they get shot, stabbed, beaten and just
keep on coming--at least, until the script calls for them to go out with an
honor-filled death. It shouldn't be too much of a surprise that MC feels so
much like a game, since it was actually based on a role playing game. Mutant Chronicles
isn't a terrible film, not by any means. The production design is very well
done, and the alt-earth technology is very well thought out. Just don't expect
much by way of a good story, or realistic characters, and you should have some
good popcorn movie fun.
--SF
