I’m getting a little tired of the ninety minute mentality in Hollywood. If
you’re an avid film buff (and it doesn’t matter whether you see a film in the
theater on opening night, or wait for it to hit video)
you know what I mean. Studios love films that are cut down to ninety minutes
because they can have more showings in the theaters--thus making more money--as opposed to a film
that’s two hours long. But we know that this isn’t the case; James
Cameron’s Avatar clocked in at nearly three hours during its theatrical run, and
that did pretty well, didn’t it?
Yet most films are made by regular, mortal filmmakers who must make do without
the clout of a James Cameron. And so a movie like Priest, which introduces us to
an entirely different fantasy world, gets shorn down to a theater-friendly ninety
minutes (sometimes even less) in the hopes that more showings will attract more
money. And the result is a movie that moves so quickly--it just flies by so
fast--that the viewer can barely catch his breath before the darn thing is even
over. That's the problem with Priest, where Paul Bettany re-teams with his Legion
director Scott Steward as a Priest who’s searching for his niece, who has been
kidnapped by vampires.
The film takes place in a devastated world where the church rules supreme, lording
over the cowed population with an iron fist. Thanks to the Priests, a cadre of
super bad-ass warriors with amazing powers, the humans were victorious in a
global war against the vampires--who are savage, bat-like creatures. But the
vampires are making a comeback. Led by a mysterious stranger in a black hat (the
Old West vibe is so thick here you could cut it with a spur), the vampires are
building up to an all out attack on one of the major human cities. But seeing
how miserably the humans live under church rule, they may well be better off
with the vampires.
Why do the Priests (who include women; and Maggie Q is one the best things here) have
such superior bad ass fighting skills? It’s not explained. There’s
no time! The movie’s barely ninety minutes long, and there’s barely time to ogle
the special effects and action scenes, much less give the viewer a proper
introduction to this world. Exposition? Character development? Nope, sorry, we’ll
just have to settle for watching these cardboard cutouts, instead. It’s all based
on a comic book, which the filmmakers seem to think that everybody has read. But
a film, even one based on another medium, should always stand on its own. Too bad the
makers of Priest forgot that.
--SF
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