First off, the name is now Dwayne Johnson--no more calling
him The Rock, anymore, m’kay? He’s a wrestler who’s made the most successful
transition to acting…or has he? The Roc--uh, I mean, Dwayne’s latest film is a
quasi-remake of the classic Disney chestnut, Escape To Witch Mountain. This time
it’s called Race To Witch Mountain, and The Ro--uh, Dwayne plays a Las Vegas cab
driver named Jack Bruno, who used to work for the local mob boss but is now
trying to stay on the straight and narrow. That works until a pair of kids, Sara
(AnnaSophia Robb from The Reaping) and Seth (Alexander
Ludwig), get into his cab and ask to be taken to a remote spot in the desert.
Main Review Page | SF Reviews |Race to Witch Mountain (Single-Disc Edition)
The two impressionable kids are actually space aliens who crash-landed on earth,
with malicious government agents led by Ciarán Hinds hot on their trail. These
are the sort of gun-toting, conspiracy-loving fascists who would give Fox Mulder
serious heartburn. John initially thinks the G-Men are goons sent by the local mob boss,
but he soon becomes hip to what’s happening when the kids show him their freaky
alien powers. Anna can move objects with her mind and read minds, while Seth has
this cool ability where he can shift his molecular density to where he can either
pass through solid objects, or turn his body into a roadblock, causing a car to
slam into him without harm.
They’re also being chased by this really lame looking alien assassin in an
unimaginative suit that just looks very cheesy. Jack Bruno (and the kids say his
full name so many damn times, it should make for a good drinking game) keeps trying
to protect the kids from this Terminator-wannabe--which is silly, since the kids themselves seem
to be the only thing that can hold it at bay. The always good Carla Gugino is on
hand as an astrophysicist who gets caught up in the otherworldly drama, and
Happy Days creator Garry Marshall appears as a UFO expert. The film is very
silly and predictable--the original might not have been Shakespeare, but
compared to this, it’s a masterpiece.
Still, while Race To Witch Mountain may be a completely new take on the
story--with Dwayne’s character as the focus of the film more than the kids--it’s
still a harmless popcorn flick. The filmmakers have even managed to work in
cameos featuring the two original Witch Mountain kids, Kim Richards and Ike
Eisenmann, as a waitress and a sheriff, respectively, which I thought was a
nice touch. And the stunt work, particularly the car chase sequences, are well
done and fun to watch. This might be an enjoyable film to watch with your
kids--or even for you to watch, as long as you don’t mind a derivative
story with gaping plot holes large enough to drive a flying saucer through.
--SF
