The Sentinel
One Star (out of five)
1977. Released by Universal Home Video. Running time 92 minutes. Rated R. Has English Subtitles. No special features on the DVD. This was reviewed on DVD on April 18, 2011.

Same old stuff day in, day out...who knew guarding the gates of hell would be so boring? The Sentinel was Universal Studio’s bid to cash in on the Exorcist craze of the 1970s. Based on the novel by Jeffery Konvitz, and directed by Michael Winner (The Nightcomers, The Mechanic, Death Wish), The Sentinel deals with Alison Parker (Christina Raines) a beautiful fashion model who’s very much in demand these days--these days being the swinging late seventies in New York City. She’s appearing in major print ads, as well as commercials on TV, and living with her boyfriend, Michael (Chris Sarandon, who looks like a young Gomez from the Addams Family). Despite Michael’s desire to get married, Allison just needs some space, and so she goes apartment hunting.

Hey, welcome to hell! It may be hot, but we know how to party! Finding a nice place in Brooklyn, Alison moves right in…only to discover that the place is the GATEWAY TO HELL! No, really, I’m not kidding. The elderly priest (played by John Caradine) who sits in the window at the very top of the house is the sentinel, the guardian who watches over the evil minions who might try and escape from hell. Who knew the gateway to hell would be in Brooklyn? And with such a nice view of downtown Manhattan? Never mind the demons, how could Alison seriously resist such a nice place? The Sentinel tries so hard to out-shock The Exorcist that it’s actually become something of an unintentional comedy.

I thought I heard a really scary noise...or was I snoring? Christina Raines, a real-life model before she became an actress, has such a flat, deadpan delivery of her lines that it almost makes you wonder if she’s really experiencing all the weird stuff she’s seeing, or if she’s just stoned. The script has plot-holes galore, such as when Michael discovers the true horror behind Alison’s apartment (and it’s not because it’s going condo) but, instead of just taking Alison and getting the hell out of New York, he leaves her with a friend and goes off to the house to confront the evil himself. What exactly does he expect to do, serve the devil with a restraining order?

I'm hearing strange sounds in a darkened, empty building. Might as well go check it out by myself! As for the shocking moments, well, try watching Beverly D’Angelo (that’s right, Mama Griswald herself from the Vacation movies) masturbating right in front of a visiting Christina. That’s one way to welcome a new neighbor to the building! While the Exorcist has stood the test of time as a true horror classic, The Sentinel has rightfully been forgotten as a lame wannabe that goes way too far over the top to elicit shocks (the finale, which uses real-life "human oddities" as the legion of hell spawn, is very lame in so many ways). It’s more fascinating to watch today for the superb cast, which features old-timers like Burgess Meredith and then-newcomers like Jeff Goldblum. Watch it just to see how many familar faces you can spot. --SF

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