The Captains
Three Stars (out of five)
2011. Released by Entertainment One. Running time 96 minutes. Not Rated. Contains no cursing; safe for kids. Equipped with subtitles for the deaf and hearing impaired. Special features on the DVD include a making of documentary and deleted scenes.

Grumpy old captains. I’ve always had mixed feelings for William Shatner, the man. He played one of the most coolest, iconic characters in science fiction, Captain James T. Kirk, the commander of the starship Enterprise, on three seasons of the original 1960s Star Trek TV series. His Kirk was a ’devil may care’ maverick who sought to right whatever wrongs he and his crew came across in their travels across the universe--and sometimes he did so by bucking orders from his superior officers. In contrast, Shatner is an unabashed glory hound who was always content to be in the spotlight--which can also be said of many performers. But Shatner always had this crazed mania to be the center of attention, regardless of what the project may be.

Sister, can you spare a dime for a fellow captain? And so when I read that William Shatner had written and directed the documentary, The Captains, I let out a groan. I actually liked the idea of The Captains, which is a look at all of the actors who have played the captain in each incarnation of Star Trek: Shatner, who played Kirk in the original 1960s series; Patrick Steward, who played Jean Luc Picard in The Next Generation; Avery Brooks, who played Benjamin Sisko on Deep Space Nine; Kate Mulgrew, who played Kathryn Janeway on Voyager, Scott Bakula, who played Jonathan Archer on Enterprise, and Chris Pine, who played Kirk in the new film. They each look back at what their roles meant for them, both professionally and personally.

Now we're gonna sing the Tickle Me Elmo song! Ready, Bill? But while Shatner doesn’t have himself interviewed (no, he’s not that tacky, thankfully) he still dominates the proceedings way too much. When speaking with his subjects, Shatner--who fancies himself an inquisitive, gutsy interviewer, thanks to his goofy cable talk show--begins to pontificate about his feelings and desires in a long-winded manner to the point where several of his interview subjects (namely Steward and Mulgrew) begin questioning him. The only one who manages to hold his own with the Shatman is Brooks, who is so out-there, so off the wall in a truly wacky way, that he answers Shatner’s questions about life beyond death by playing the piano and prodding Shatner into singing the answers! Wow!

The battle of the Kirks! Only one can win! And not many will care! I’ve been a Trek fan since childhood, and I still enjoyed visiting with these actors once more--that is, when I could hear them. Unfortunately, another annoying aspect of the documentary, other than Shatner’s constant LOOK AT ME posturing, is the annoyingly intrusive music that plays over the interviews, making it very hard to hear what they’re saying. At least I had the closed captions. It would have been much better if all of the Captains had been interviewed by a third party who would have given them equal screen time. But, as it stands, The Captains is a gloriously tawdry look at how much Bill Shatner truly loves to hear himself talk. If only he let the other captains talk just a little more, this truly would have been worth watching. --SF

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